So, where were we?

I don't believe I'm here.   It has been nearly 30 years since I've written anything that wasn't about how to operate a computer or a camera.   A delightful muse has convinced me I should do this.

First and foremost, I never saw myself authoring a "blog" because, even though I have worked on computers going back prior to the introduction of the IBM PC, I have never subscribed to web-speak.   I didn't want to have anything to do with an entire cyber community that was too lazy to say "web log."   There was also that part of me that said "blogging" was nothing more than self-indulgent vanity writing.    I still haven't decided whether I'm getting in step with the times or just giving in.

Let's get a few preliminaries out of the way.   I have ADD, and it's reflected in my writing.   I make copious use of hyphens, and every whirling dervish of thought will be expressed parenthically in my prose.   I will intentionally sling bad puns and malapropisms as I see fit,  I make up words to suit my agenda, and my really bad mixed metaphors are a work of art unto themselves.   If you don't like it, adjust!

I am a self-confessed grammar nerd.   I love the English language and all its convoluted parts and rules.   I will skewer the people who disrespect it.   And I will sometimes vitiate those rules to make a point.  In fact, if you see any grammatical errors in my writing, assume they were intentional.

My sense of humor is simultaneously sophisticated and off kilter.   Sharp word play is right up my alley, but I also love "dick and fart" jokes.   My mother would love to tell you, I'm a wise ass.   I can still vividly hear her saying it to me for the first time when I was about eight.  (Love ya anyway, Mom!)   Nothing that is written here is to be taken seriously (unless I say so).   If you like what you find here, I accept all compliments graciously.   If you don't like what you see, keep it to yourself.   You have been warned.

In case anybody was wondering, the font this text is presented in is Trebuchet, because I love medieval siege engines.  Chew on that, kids.